Marriage

Me: "Did you dust the house like I had asked?"
Josh: "Yup"
Me: "You Did?"
Josh: "Uh huh"
Me: "Then why is all the furniture dusty?"
Josh: "You asked me to dust the house, so I dusted it"
Me: "What does that mean? Isn't the furniture part of the house?"
Josh: "Well if you wanted the furniture dusted, then why didn't you ask me to dust the furniture?"
Me: "So what exactly did you dust? I'm confused."
Josh: "The house!"

This is a dialogue Josh and I recently had when I asked him to dust the Adult Family Home because it was looking a little fuzzy. I am still flabberghasted by the differences between communication of a husband and wife. Even after almost 7 years of marriage my jaw still drops in response to the casm there is between our two brains. We never cease to learn and grow in this area and hopefully we never will. It amazes me that God created us so differently yet with the ability to complement each other so well (at least with a little work ;).

After picturing our conversation above, I could totally see Josh walking through the house with a swiffer duster dusting the walls and corners thinking what a great job he's doing :) And I'm sure he did an excellent job. By no means is he lazy. Just next time I'll remember to include the furniture in my request.

Are we really that Different?

Yes we are!  The difference between a man and a woman that is.  Sometimes I forget how different we are because we do have a lot in common.  Josh listens to my womanly woes and fulfills a lot of that emotional need for me.  However, I was reminded of our differences tonight as Josh and I were sitting on the couch together.  He was playing a video game called Red Dead Redemption.  It's a cowboy game where grown men get to pretend they're cowboys and gallop around a map of empty desert and tiny ghost towns and I'm sure they have missions of some sort.  It's actually pretty cool and if they had a chick character I might actually play it.  Anyway, getting to my point.  I was watching Josh play and marveling at how real the horse looks in its mannerisms.  I especially got excited when he slowed down and the horse started to trot and the rider actually posted a little to make the transition smooth.  As I was exclaiming and going on about how cool that was, Josh rides his horse  up to another cowboy, shoots him in the head, and then steals his horse.  I stop short and my jaw dropped.  It was so pretty I kind of forgot it was a video game.  My response was: "what the heck, why'd you have to kill him?"  His response..."Honey I needed a faster horse."  Me: "So you just shoot him, there was no other option?  You couldn't just kick him off his horse."  Josh:  "Nope, it's the only way and did you see how gray and sick my horse was?  I have to ride to Mexico, that wouldn't work with a slow horse. It would take me forever" I started to agree with his logic, as long as the game gave you no other option, but still feeling a little sad for the cowboy that didn't do anything and was unarmed.  Just after finishing our conversation, Josh rides up to his online gaming buddy, Josh's cousin's husband, and the first thing out of Josh's cousin's husband mouth is "I shot some guy and stole his horse so I could get here faster."  Then it hit me...God really made men differently.

Quick Marriage Tip from the Allens

My husband and I were discussing yesterday how not only is communication important in a marriage, but so is intimacy. I'm not talking about just sex here people! I'm talking about holding hands while watching TV, a quick hug, a smile, and yes even kissing. These are small things that Josh and I tend to forget about during our day to day lives. They are important though. It's something we try to keep on the top of our priority list. So I encourage you to take the time to kiss your spouse. Kiss and count to 5 (maybe throw a little tongue action in). It's amazing what 5 seconds of intimacy can do. Even if you've been fighting lately, or for awhile, that little bit of intimacy can bridge a gap and bring some tender feelings back to your relationship and hopefully open up the door to better communication and a better marriage. Or if your marriage is already in tip top shape, it can help get the fires burning a little bit hotter.