I'm presently paralyzed from exhaustion.  Moving has been harder than I thought it would be and I knew it was going to be hard.  It's much more difficult to downsize then I thought.  I try to unpack and I have no where to unpack it.  Our new garage is piled high with our stuff and I'd really like to clear it out but every time I try to grab a box I either have no place to put the items or the box is too heavy for me to carry on my own.  Josh has been busy with the construction process and taking care of the old house so it's just been me and Carson.  I'm looking forward to this weekend when we can hopefully start to make some progress!   Also, the basement not being 100% finished and not looking like a home is bothering me more than I thought it would.  There is a ton of potential space but it has stuff in it that has to be taken care of and then finished...sheet rock, mud, and paint...the whole 9 yards.  But since it's a basement we can't just throw sheet rock up.  There are ducts and pipes that have to be boxed around.  Not to mention the cost and the fact that we have no money to pay for it.  We'll be having a yard sale soon and I hope we can make enough to cover some of the cost.  I want the basement completed sooner than I thought. 

It also bothers me that the home is not yet ours.  It's surprisingly emotionally difficult going from home owners to living in someone else's property.  We're working hard to change that.  Lots of research involved since it's not so easy to combine residential real estate and business. 

Despite the stress, it has been nice just waking up and walking up the stairs to work.  Gotta love that.  Carson has been adjusting well.  There was some heart break the first couple days.  We went back to the old house for something and Carson squealed when we pulled in the drive and then when we went to leave, he had a MAJOR melt down.  He displayed more emotion then we've ever seen in him before.  He was arching his back and flailing around refusing to get in his car seat and pointing to the house.  It brought me to tears.  I know he'll soon think of this new place as our home too, but it's probably a little confusing because he knows it's Daddy's work.  Josh had a good idea that as soon as we're all moved in and we have his play area set up, when I walk down the stairs I tell him "let's go home and then we're home."  I'm sure he'll soon recognize it as our space and so will we.  

Grateful Friday

It is Friday, right?  Life has been going a mile a minute and I have barely been able to stop and think about what day it is.  This is what I am grateful for this past week:

1.  That God provides.  We have been in his hands these last weeks as we have tried to figure out our moving situation.  Within this last week our renters contacted us and want to move in by the 5th of June and the next day Josh's brother found an apartment he liked.  So the moving process is beginning.  God has given us financial provisions and a roof over our head.

2.  For a husband that works so very hard.

3.  A little home that we got to call our own these last 4 years.

4.  For family that will be staying with us this weekend.  And 

5.  For possibly figuring out a cause for my chronic fatigue. 

Contentment

"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."  (Philippians 4:11-13)

I love this message from Paul.  These verses really hit me this last week because of the changes presently going on in our life.  It gave me a new perspective on our move.  The stress and anxiety relating to leaving our first home that we have invested our lives in and moving to a basement bedroom has really vanished.  I am truly excited about this new life adventure. God has been leading us in this whole process.  He brought the perfect renters to our lives and created the perfect timing for us to move.  He even provided a place for us to move to in our new home and that was something that was creating a lot of stress and worry.  We have never felt God's hands in our lives more than now.  It's so strong that we feel we haven't even had a choice.  Things just keep happening and we just have to follow along with it.  God has been our provider through it all.  Then He gave me this verse to give us something we had been lacking, contentment.  Paul said whatever the circumstances, he learned to be content.  This wasn't something that happened to him.  He took an active role in the perspective of his life.  He chose to be content regardless of his life situation.  God knew that this was exactly what I needed to hear during this time.  It has given me peace to let go of our home because I will have contentment in our new home, regardless of the circumstance.  This also extends passed our present circumstances.  Regardless of what happens in the future, I have a new perspective on contentment.  Only I have the power to be content.  Just as only I have the power to be happy.  Nothing can take that away or cause it to happen and if something does "cause" me to be happy it is only temporary, it is only a superficial cause that will fade.  However, I can chose to be content and have joy no matter where we are living, the size of home we are living in, how our finances are doing, and what we are eating for dinner.  These things do not matter because I can do everything through Him who gives me strength, including changing my attitude on life. 

Shadow Stalking

Today Carson discovered his shadow and then was chased by it.  We were able to make it into church for a little bit today.  We knew we could only stay for worship because as we were loading up the car, our weekend employee called and informed us she was sick.  We sat in the back so we could leave without disturbing anyone after worship was over.  In the area we were sitting, there was a little corner that kids kept hiding and playing in.  After the other kids cleared out, Carson ran in there.  There was a bright light above the area he was in which casted a very dark shadow of another little boy.  That shadow chased Carson around this area and he seemed to be very perplexed.  Then finally he realized he couldn't get rid of it and tried to run away and it came after him!  Carson got scared and ran a quick spurt and then jumped out of fright then looked to us for comfort.  Josh and I were trying to contain our laughter and be as quiet as possible but we didn't pull it off very well.  We had a great belly laugh with our hands clapped over our mouth.  I was crying I was laughing so hard.  One of my favorite things about being a parent is how our child brings so much innocent joy to our lives. 

Grateful Friday

In order to bring more gratitude and thankfulness to our lives, I will be listing on here every Friday 5 things I am grateful for during the past week.  I'm hoping as time goes on and I start paying attention to things to be grateful for in the moment, that I can increase the list to 10.

So here goes, I am grateful for:

1.  Finding renters for our house! 
2.  Carson waking up happy this morning, letting me know he wanted  a kiss by smacking his lips, playing peek-a-boo with the covers and then giving me the come chase me smile while jumping out of bed.
3.  Finishing up our last required class to become Adult Family Home providers.  We are so close now!
It's no longer just a dream. 
4.  Having homemade beef stew.  Yum!
5.  My wonderful husband who has been working so hard. 

A Couple Cleaning Tips

I have to share these two cleaning tips I finally put into action.  I had heard both of them before but today I had to clean the whole house and with a toddler.  This isn't an easy feat.  To make it easier I used these two tips: 

1.  Start by cleaning  from the front door and clockwise through each room of the house; and
2.  Carry an empty laundry basket to load odds and ends into to be put away once you reach room they belong in (I even put trash in it to be thrown away when I got closer to the garbage can).

This was a huge help.  The laundry basket kept everything organized instead of just spreading the mess into other rooms of the house and as far as going in clockwise order, it was nice knowing where I was headed next.  It worked great for a whole house tidy.  Plus I didn't waste energy going back and forth to various rooms putting odds and ends away.  Usually, if I saw balled up socks I would walk them into our room and put them in the hamper but then when I would go back to tidying the living room, I would find a shirt under the couch and a hand towel.  So I would trek back to the room and put those in the hamper as well.  Back to the living room only to find something of Carson's that needs to be put in the hamper.  By the time I was done with just the living room I would be totally exhausted.  I will be using the two tips above from now on. 

For deep cleaning I do  prefer to have a schedule and pick one room to clean per day.  Although now with these two tips, I should be able to keep my house a tad tidier.

We're on our way!

We are on our way to becoming Adult Family Home owners.  We finished our required class today and now I just have to finish up stacks of paperwork and send it into the state for approval.  The process could take a couple months but Josh and I are crossing our fingers that it won't be that long, especially since we're being really careful about having all of our ducks in a row. 

It felt good to be done with the class.  It's been a long couple weeks and you can tell Carson is done with the crazy schedule changes and being away from home.  Josh and I were pretty excited since we know sooo much more now about running the business and for the first time we have confidence in the fact that we CAN do this!  And we can do this well.  Then we go to work and Josh gets yelled at for 30mins or more by a resident who is massively confused and I was taking Carson outside so he didn't here the yelling, I thought, okay why are we doing this?  Ah yes, to provide a good home for 4 elderly people that would be otherwise lost in the system without us and to provide for our family.  It reminded me that there will be trying days, just like in any other business, but it will have it's benefits too.  I love 3 of them dearly and I'm working on the 4th.  He's just a tad more prickly, but still worthy of love.  Isn't that what Christ came to teach us!?  Josh and I are excited to incorporate that into our business.