Tired

Mornings like these are tough! Carson wanted to nurse all night long and he kept wanting to be rocked. He somewhat settled down every time I rubbed his belly but it didn't last long. I am tired of his stomach aches. Thankfully they are less often now. For some reason though he always keeps me up before a work day. I am helping Josh at the AFH this morning and then grooming and I now have to do this on no sleep and a stiff back.

Right now, I am very thankful I am not pregnant because I wouldn't have the energy to care for both. As it is sometimes I barely have the energy to just care for Carson. I am very thankful that he still takes two naps a day!

Nights like these make me want to quit nursing Carson all together. It is important to me that he self-weans. He has a milk sensitivity and so the fact that he is still getting breast milk I think is really important. He could drink soy, but what God has given me to feed my child is so much healthier! They can't even compare. I also read that if you continue nursing through their 2nd year of life, they get a second dose of immunities like they did as infants. I think that is so cool and it's because of facts like that I soldier on and it's hard to be upset when he wakes up and smiles at me with his precious angel face.

A Peaceful Passing

Today, per usual, I was helping Josh at the AFH (Adult Family Home) and one of our clients passed away. It's been awhile since I've been in a home while that happened and I got more emotional than usual. Not sad, just emotional. I was actually struck by the beauty of it.

She had lived a good life and passed on with her daughters by her side. There was no struggle and she thankfully had as peaceful a passing as you can have. I hope that when my time comes, I go like Betty.

Her family has been at her bedside for the last two weeks. Patiently comforting her. Telling us what a wonderful mother she was. It was an honor to care for her and her family during these last days.

Hazards of Sharing a bed with a heavy wetter

Since Carson was about 9 months old we have had his crib side-carred to our bed. We love it and it works really well. It's much more peaceful than traveling from room to room in the middle of the night. Plus we love having Carson so near and despite some people's beliefs, it doesn't effect our marriage one bit.

Well last night Carson woke up wanting to nurse so I rolled over and the bed was completely wet. Not just a little wet, A LOT wet. It was like I had rolled into a puddle! I felt Carson and he was soaking. Sometimes he leaks, but not this much. So I took him down the hall into the nursery to change him and clean him up and I unzip his jammies and I don't see anything. At first I thought, was I really tired enough to forget to put a diaper on? Once I got his other leg out of his jammies his diaper was revealed. He somehow got half his diaper off and wrapped around his left knee. Absolutely nothing went into the diaper, it was bone dry. Since it was the middle of the night and I was exhausted I just grabbed a towel and put it over the wet spot. I was still damp from earlier though so it wasn't the best sleep ever. You can tell we're used to this sort of thing because Josh just moaned and went back to sleep even though Carson and I were still covered in you know what! I think the realization finally hit us when we fully woke up for the day.

This is the only issue I've found with co-sleeping. Luckily we haven't had a surprise of the other sort!

V Day Thoughts

As Valentine's Day nears I keep thinking of ways that Josh and I can celebrate the day cheaply. It's something I would like to honor, even if it is created by Hallmark to sell cards, chocolate and of course flowers!

I'm not interested in cliches anymore or spending much money for the holiday, but something fun would be nice. Especially since I feel like we have a love to celebrate.

I met Josh when I was 15 and I am grateful for the fact that we fell in love so young. We have had struggles because we have had to mature and grow together and it's hard enough to grow up on your own. Those memories fade fast though when I look at him and my heart pounds against my chest and I get butterflies in my stomach and once again I feel like the giddy teenager I once was. I am thankful that I married the love of my youth and I did not have to experience the heartbreak and confusion that most women in my generation go through. I don't feel like I missed out on anything getting married at 19. We were meant for each other and God has done a lot of work on each of our hearts through our marriage. Sometimes I forget this when I am hormonal and tired. We snap at each other needlessly and blame each other for pointless mistakes. I guess that is why marriage is called work.

Since we have had Carson we have had less time together. We have more fun than ever now, but these holidays give us an excuse to just have time for the two of us and I want take advantage of it! We don't take enough time out of each day for the other, let alone each week or month. We're guilty of getting caught up in life. I wish I could add Valentine's Day to my daily life. What an amazing marriage we would have!

So I'm planning early this year because I want our marriage to be a priority. Especially since it will only get harder to remember the importance of it as we get older and we add more children to our brood.

1st Post

Since Carson was born a little over 14 months ago, I have been transformed as a woman. I have never been so exhausted and content at the same time.

All I have ever wanted to do is be a wife and a mother and now I am getting the chance! I also get to help my husband as he becomes a resident manager and eventually owner of an Adult Family Home his parents started a few years ago.

I've been wanting to blog my random thoughts, opinions, interests, and passions since he was born and I'm just now finding the time. If you are a new mom, you probably know exactly what I am talking about!