Friday, May 28, 2010

Grateful Friday

It is Friday, right?  Life has been going a mile a minute and I have barely been able to stop and think about what day it is.  This is what I am grateful for this past week:

1.  That God provides.  We have been in his hands these last weeks as we have tried to figure out our moving situation.  Within this last week our renters contacted us and want to move in by the 5th of June and the next day Josh's brother found an apartment he liked.  So the moving process is beginning.  God has given us financial provisions and a roof over our head.

2.  For a husband that works so very hard.

3.  A little home that we got to call our own these last 4 years.

4.  For family that will be staying with us this weekend.  And 

5.  For possibly figuring out a cause for my chronic fatigue. 

Thursday, May 27, 2010


"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."  (Philippians 4:11-13)

I love this message from Paul.  These verses really hit me this last week because of the changes presently going on in our life.  It gave me a new perspective on our move.  The stress and anxiety relating to leaving our first home that we have invested our lives in and moving to a basement bedroom has really vanished.  I am truly excited about this new life adventure. God has been leading us in this whole process.  He brought the perfect renters to our lives and created the perfect timing for us to move.  He even provided a place for us to move to in our new home and that was something that was creating a lot of stress and worry.  We have never felt God's hands in our lives more than now.  It's so strong that we feel we haven't even had a choice.  Things just keep happening and we just have to follow along with it.  God has been our provider through it all.  Then He gave me this verse to give us something we had been lacking, contentment.  Paul said whatever the circumstances, he learned to be content.  This wasn't something that happened to him.  He took an active role in the perspective of his life.  He chose to be content regardless of his life situation.  God knew that this was exactly what I needed to hear during this time.  It has given me peace to let go of our home because I will have contentment in our new home, regardless of the circumstance.  This also extends passed our present circumstances.  Regardless of what happens in the future, I have a new perspective on contentment.  Only I have the power to be content.  Just as only I have the power to be happy.  Nothing can take that away or cause it to happen and if something does "cause" me to be happy it is only temporary, it is only a superficial cause that will fade.  However, I can chose to be content and have joy no matter where we are living, the size of home we are living in, how our finances are doing, and what we are eating for dinner.  These things do not matter because I can do everything through Him who gives me strength, including changing my attitude on life. 

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Shadow Stalking

Today Carson discovered his shadow and then was chased by it.  We were able to make it into church for a little bit today.  We knew we could only stay for worship because as we were loading up the car, our weekend employee called and informed us she was sick.  We sat in the back so we could leave without disturbing anyone after worship was over.  In the area we were sitting, there was a little corner that kids kept hiding and playing in.  After the other kids cleared out, Carson ran in there.  There was a bright light above the area he was in which casted a very dark shadow of another little boy.  That shadow chased Carson around this area and he seemed to be very perplexed.  Then finally he realized he couldn't get rid of it and tried to run away and it came after him!  Carson got scared and ran a quick spurt and then jumped out of fright then looked to us for comfort.  Josh and I were trying to contain our laughter and be as quiet as possible but we didn't pull it off very well.  We had a great belly laugh with our hands clapped over our mouth.  I was crying I was laughing so hard.  One of my favorite things about being a parent is how our child brings so much innocent joy to our lives. 

Friday, May 21, 2010

Grateful Friday

In order to bring more gratitude and thankfulness to our lives, I will be listing on here every Friday 5 things I am grateful for during the past week.  I'm hoping as time goes on and I start paying attention to things to be grateful for in the moment, that I can increase the list to 10.

So here goes, I am grateful for:

1.  Finding renters for our house! 
2.  Carson waking up happy this morning, letting me know he wanted  a kiss by smacking his lips, playing peek-a-boo with the covers and then giving me the come chase me smile while jumping out of bed.
3.  Finishing up our last required class to become Adult Family Home providers.  We are so close now!
It's no longer just a dream. 
4.  Having homemade beef stew.  Yum!
5.  My wonderful husband who has been working so hard. 

Thursday, May 20, 2010

A Couple Cleaning Tips

I have to share these two cleaning tips I finally put into action.  I had heard both of them before but today I had to clean the whole house and with a toddler.  This isn't an easy feat.  To make it easier I used these two tips: 

1.  Start by cleaning  from the front door and clockwise through each room of the house; and
2.  Carry an empty laundry basket to load odds and ends into to be put away once you reach room they belong in (I even put trash in it to be thrown away when I got closer to the garbage can).

This was a huge help.  The laundry basket kept everything organized instead of just spreading the mess into other rooms of the house and as far as going in clockwise order, it was nice knowing where I was headed next.  It worked great for a whole house tidy.  Plus I didn't waste energy going back and forth to various rooms putting odds and ends away.  Usually, if I saw balled up socks I would walk them into our room and put them in the hamper but then when I would go back to tidying the living room, I would find a shirt under the couch and a hand towel.  So I would trek back to the room and put those in the hamper as well.  Back to the living room only to find something of Carson's that needs to be put in the hamper.  By the time I was done with just the living room I would be totally exhausted.  I will be using the two tips above from now on. 

For deep cleaning I do  prefer to have a schedule and pick one room to clean per day.  Although now with these two tips, I should be able to keep my house a tad tidier.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

We're on our way!

We are on our way to becoming Adult Family Home owners.  We finished our required class today and now I just have to finish up stacks of paperwork and send it into the state for approval.  The process could take a couple months but Josh and I are crossing our fingers that it won't be that long, especially since we're being really careful about having all of our ducks in a row. 

It felt good to be done with the class.  It's been a long couple weeks and you can tell Carson is done with the crazy schedule changes and being away from home.  Josh and I were pretty excited since we know sooo much more now about running the business and for the first time we have confidence in the fact that we CAN do this!  And we can do this well.  Then we go to work and Josh gets yelled at for 30mins or more by a resident who is massively confused and I was taking Carson outside so he didn't here the yelling, I thought, okay why are we doing this?  Ah yes, to provide a good home for 4 elderly people that would be otherwise lost in the system without us and to provide for our family.  It reminded me that there will be trying days, just like in any other business, but it will have it's benefits too.  I love 3 of them dearly and I'm working on the 4th.  He's just a tad more prickly, but still worthy of love.  Isn't that what Christ came to teach us!?  Josh and I are excited to incorporate that into our business. 

Carrie, Haven't you learned?

This is what I was saying to myself after drinking a latte with regular milk this morning as I sauntered off to the bathroom...again.  How did I never notice this before?  I thought only Carson was lactose intolerant and through his diet, I learned I'm the one that started it.   I used to think I had something serious like IBS or Celiacs Disease.   Yet the entire time it was one simple culprit, dairy.  I've been taking thyroid medication and found out that apparently soy can interact with it's effects.  So I can no longer drink soy lattes and there is only one coffee shop that has rice milk and you have to go in to get it.  That's not easy to do when you're running late.  Josh and I were heading to our last day of class this morning, I was exhausted as usual, so I said what the heck milk once in awhile is fine, right?  I just got what I used to get, a 12oz vanilla latte.  Never again.  I think I finally got the message today.  It's not worth the pain.  I made up my mind during the process that if I want to continue to enjoy lattes, I will need to invest in an espresso machine and make them at home.  Which would save us financially and me physically. 

Monday, May 17, 2010

Missing my normal days

If I knew what was good for me, I'd be going to bed right now but since this is the first time I've been able to relax and think about something  other than adult family home related issues, I just can't help myself. 

We spent today in class again.  We learned a lot but I'm thankful we only have two more days left of this.  (Oh crap, I'm back to adult family home stuff, oh well).  It was rough dropping Carson off this morning at my mom's.  He was especially needy today and just wanted to snuggle with me.  I  would have much rather stayed home and just cuddled my little guy.  Although, he didn't seem to care once he saw we were at Grandma's and there were hoses to play with, mommy was chopped liver after that.  I'm thankful at least one of us are able to be home with him.  It would be hard if dropping him off somewhere was an everyday occurrence.  My heart goes out to those that don't have a choice. 

We are slowly making strides towards being adult family home owners.  Some days the mountain seems too high and we just won't be able to climb this one and other days, like today, it feels like we can conquer it despite some seemingly insurmountable challenges.  

A nice young couple looked at our home this weekend to possibly rent.  We're praying it works out.  We'd be down a few hundred a month still but it's better than double mortgages!  They would want to rent for a year and then maybe lease with option to purchase which would be perfect for us.  My husband calls me crazy but I would like to do some more fixing on the house before we officially sell.  I would feel bad selling with a bad roof and 60-year old furnace, even though the asking price would reflect these much needed repairs.  He reminds me that's the way we bought it.  Maybe I'm just worried that if we don't do it, the next owners won't do it either and the issues will just get worse with time until the damage has gone on for far too long and the house falls apart.  Melodramatic, I know, but I love this place and I want to sell it with it's best dress on so to speak.   I want to sell a piece of property that is worthy of being cherished.  It might be a pipe dream, but it's a goal of mine and I hope to see it come to fruition. 

Saturday, May 15, 2010

My Feminine Woes

Josh's cousin is getting married in a month and I was shopping for her bridal shower today.  I got her some stuff off her registry but also sneaked into Victoria's Secret.  I couldn't afford any of the nice stuff but was able to get something tiny that her husband-to-be should appreciate, of course after the wedding.  As I was looking around I noticed all their wonderful bras.  I forgot about these bras.  I forgot that at one time, I wore these amazing creations.  I got this overwhelming urge to wear a normal bra again.  I had total bra envy.  They looked so flattering, much more feminine than my nursing bras...and sexy.   My nursing bras win in comfort and obviously function, but they definitely lack that feminine factor.  (Even though breastfeeding is pretty darn feminine).  So I spotted a bra that I desperately wanted but remembered that there is no way I could get a regular bra right now even if I wanted to.  Picture a balloon floating away into the beautiful blue sky on a warm sunny day only to pop from the change in pressure and float back down to earth deflated.   That's how I felt.  Frustrated, I left the store.  I'm in nursing limbo right now.  Carson decided to wean himself from the right side and coupled with my weight loss, it's now smaller than when I was in high school, which is pretty small.  It's somewhat depressing.  Once lefty catches up, I'll be a cup smaller than when I was 15 years old.  Although I'll finally be able to wear a Victoria's Secret bra again and their push up bras look like they'd work miracles.  (I'm trying to think positive here).   I'm feeling bad for myself and my extreme lopsidedness (is that a word?).  Lefty is still a very efficient milk machine which makes quite a difference between the two.  It wasn't noticeable at first, but then the gap kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger.  Finally, Josh mentioned maybe I should get one of those insert thingies to stick in my bra to equal them out.  It's actually a good idea.  I'll probably be doing that and soon because my bra slides drastically sideways towards the left, which gets uncomfortable. And what size do I wear?  Presently I have to compromise for them both and wear a size in between which still leaves some muffin top on one side but reduces the massive amount of extra fabric on the other side that makes me look like a 12 year old trying to fit into a big girl bra.   I've heard it's common for them to shrink after breast feeding, but seriously two cups smaller!?  I'm missing those voluptuous bf'ing boobs!  (Yes, I just said boobs).  It's so unfair that for a length of time you're blessed with a figure and then just a year or so later they look like they've been deflated.  Thanks mother nature.   Never had them before and I got rather used to them!  Probably so did the hubs. Thankfully his love for me isn't based on physical appearance.   I'm actually looking forward to having another baby because then at least for a short time, I'll have them once again.  I love my stretch marks and the changes since having a child.  Probably sounds crazy, but it reminds me of the amazing feat my body accomplished.  I'm more confident now even with the "flaws"  then when I was younger and super fit.  My body served a purpose, how great is that!?  This is my only complaint.  For once in my life I was feeling womanly and feminine.  I was enjoying my 20s bombshell curves. Maybe I shouldn't haven't relished so much in the added padding.  I guess since I've been breast feeding for so long, I just got used to them and didn't think about the fact that they aren't permanent, despite watching other women go through the same woes.  You don't realize it will happen to you too and that you'll care when the time comes.  Oh well, they'll be back in the future, at least for a time.  Thankfully my happiness, confidence, and self-worth comes from other sources than my body image!

Friday, May 14, 2010

Warm Weather

I am sooo excited that it is warming up around here.  All Carson wants to do is play outside which is great.  It keeps the house clean and a house with running water provides hours of entertainment.  Yes, I just said hours.  It is magical.  Nap time has become easier because by the time it rolls around Carson is exhausted.  He doesn't have the energy to fight sleep.  Supposedly it's going to be 78 degrees tomorrow.  Hallelujah!

The sunshine has provided me with some energy.  Or is it the latte I had this morning?  Yes, I said latte.  I'm back on caffeine.  My drug of choice.  Josh and I are attending a work shop for Adult Family Home Administrators.  It's 6 full days of classes.  We've accomplished three and will be finishing the last three next week.  Well the night before our first class, Carson barely slept.  It was one of his terrible nights.  So on the way to class, we stopped and got me a coffee.  Then that night Carson didn't sleep again.  Now I was trying to attend our second day of class with no decent sleep in the last two days so I downed another coffee on the way.  Third day, same story.  Fourth day no class, attempted to go without coffee and felt like I had been hit by a mack truck.  So this morning?  Coffee!!!!  I'd have to say it's nice to be able to function today.  With so much on our plates, we can't spare a day for exhaustion.  I'm taking extra Vitamin D to hopefully thwart any sickness brought on by stress.  

Our deadline to be in the new house is June 1st.  It doesn't leave us a lot of time when 3 full days next week are allotted for classes.  Plus poor Josh has to go straight from class to work and stay there until 9pm.  After a hard day of class, he goes and puts 4 people to bed.  It's not easy, yet he makes it look so.  He does this without coffee too, amazing right!?  My hubby rocks.  I managed to pack a few boxes today.  It felt good and the rest of the day I'm working on cleaning up the house and making sure it's really organized.  We have a showing Sunday for a young couple who wants to lease.  We're praying they're the right people.  It would be a HUGE answer to prayer.  So please pray for us, would you?  Also, if anyone has a prayer request, let me know and I'll pray for you as well.

Also, as I was packing I stumbled across a dozen prefolds that fit Carson!  They were at one time way too big, but now fit perfectly and this discovery happened just as he is growing out of his other prefolds.  It'll be nice not having to buy the next size up!   Especially since money is tight right now.  I'm thankful for this little blessing.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

It's amazing how once a mother those abilities and emotions that come with motherhood never fade.  Even when attacked by a disease like Alzheimer's. On Mother's Day I walked into our Grandma Ella's room to give her a hug and discovered that her daughter was visiting.  I had no idea she was going to be here for Mother's Day.  At first, I felt excitement because I was so happy that she had her daughter's companionship on that day, but as I looked closer Ella's daughter had her face burrowed into her mother's lap and her moving shoulders were giving away what she was trying to hide, the fact that she was sobbing relentlessly.  Recently she lost her two only brothers, Grandma's two boys.  One expected and a week later, one unexpected.   She came to be comforted by her mother.  Which also brings forth the pain of no longer having her same mother to be comforted by.  At least on the outside.  This is a mother who can no longer speak more than a few sensible words and who constantly has her toes pointed in the air.  A far cry from the spirited and vibrant women she once knew.  Grandma Ella is suffering from Alzheimer's.  Her's was a fast and severe deterioration.  You would think there was nothing left of that same woman, but as I looked at Grandma Ella's face,  seeing her red-rimmed eyes brimming with tears spoke a different story.  She made eye contact as slowly a tear slid down her face and gave me a look that painfully asked why?  Unable to tell her, I started crying as well.  My heart breaking for the woman trapped inside her own body, suffering the pain of her daughter as if it was her own even though she was unaware of the why.  Comforting her daughter the only way she can, silently patting her shoulder with tears streaming down her aged face.  Now that I am a mother, I understand that deep desire to take on our child's suffering.  How each time my child is hurting,  I wish I could suffer instead and the inability to do so only brings on a new form of pain.  This perspective has given me more empathy toward what God goes through on a daily basis. That is what showed on sweet Grandma Ella's face.  We are keeping her sons' deaths a secret.  We don't want to force her to endure a pain she would have to silently bear.  She may have holes in her brain, but she is still there, no holes in her heart.   Still the loving mother with a deep passionate heart for her children.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Taking Life by the Horns

Josh and I have made the recent discovery that we have been letting ourselves be the victims of our own lives.  With each new responsibility and stress that has come along, we have added it to the already long list of burdens presently resting on our shoulders.  It has been making us feel more and more weak until finally we felt like depression was setting in.  We both thought how can we handle this?  I was becoming short tempered, the house was miserable because of it.  Thankfully at church this last Sunday our Pastor said exactly what we needed to hear.  It wasn't even the sermon subject.  He briefly mentioned that we can overcome.  This simple statement changed everything.  It woke me up to the reality that even though stressful events have been thrust upon us, it doesn't have to be stressful.  It's all in our perspective of the situation and our attitude regarding the circumstance.   Once this hit home,  my shoulders started rising and I felt 5 inches taller.  I can overcome this season!  I can overcome my attitude, exhaustion, depression,  and sleepless nights.  This was exactly what we needed to hear to get over ourselves!

So we are now taking life by the horns and ramming it into submission ;).   A new challenge, ok, bring it! We'll show you how gracefully we can overcome.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Mother's Day Thoughts.

As I kissed Josh's Grandma Ella to sleep last night it reminded me of when I received my first Mother's Day card.  I was pregnant with Carson at the time and still mourning the loss of our first pregnancy.  Despite the fact that our dear Grandma Ella was in the throws of early dementia, she mailed me a Mother's Day card.  I remember just weeping after opening the envelope.  The fact that she was capable of mailing me anything was amazing.  She lost two babies early on and earlier that year we shed tears of pain over breakfast as we mourned the loss of our unknown children.  It touched me that she thought about me on that Mother's Day,  one she knew I would need support for.   She was the only one who sent me a card that year.  I still take that card out and look at it once in a while. To me, that card is a reminder of how great a gift motherhood is.  It is a road of pain, endurance, and great blessings.    

When Josh and I were newly married we of course were constantly asked when we were going to start having children.  Our answer was a few years from now.  My response was "I want to be 23 first,  that seems like a good age to have a baby, I want to be prepared."  Their response was always, prepared?  Ha, you can never be prepared.  Josh and I just scoffed.  We would be prepared!  You wait and see.  Well we did our best, we waited until I was 23 (that magical number I had in my head when I was no longer too young but young enough to have energy for the journey ahead) but they were right, we weren't prepared.  Not for the emotional, financial, and physical challenges but most of all we were not prepared for the great love we would receive.  I have never felt something so strong in my life.  I spent the first few months craning my neck to stare at Carson.  I couldn't believe that something so wonderful was possible!

I am still in awe that I am a mother.  We were unsure if a successful pregnancy would ever be possible for me and after surviving his birth he is now our official miracle.  Right after he was born, I held his little foot and immediately started praying as he was turning blue and then white, thinking I might loose him right there and then.  According to the clock it didn't take him long to start taking in breaths, but to me it felt like an eternity.  God was with us that day and I could feel his presence.  That's also probably why to this day when I am snuggling my little blessing, I hold one of his feet in my hand and sometimes press it on my cheek after he falls asleep. 

Now that Carson is getting older, although still very young, I am feeling even more blessed this Mother's Day.  Probably because now he can reciprocate with hugs and kisses.  Carson hugging me is one of the best feelings in the world.  I have been known to squeal when he squeezes me with all his might!   I don't think our lives could get any better. 

Thank you Lord that I get to celebrate this Mother's Day as a momma of an amazing little boy that you gave to us.  Thank you for giving me more joy than I can comprehend.  Thank you for the blessing of being able to  guide, love, comfort, and encourage our little one and thank you for the Mother who did the same for me.  Plus a special thank you to a Grandmother who has been a maternal influence and that while still here, we deeply miss.

Happy Mother's Day to all you mamas and mamas to be!  Love you all.  

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Happy dissapointment?

I took a pregnancy test last night and it was...negative :(. The exciting news is that the hubby was disappointed.  It probably doesn't sound exciting, but to me it was!  It let me know that he is ready for another blessing and that's exciting.  I'd much rather wait and have him share in the joy!  He would have been excited either way.  A new life is always exciting, but now he gets to share in my anticipation.  I'm looking forward to that.  All it took was one little test.  I'd taken them before, but this time it was different.  He tried to sound upbeat for me (he knows that I get disappointed) but I could detect a change in his voice.  Then he actually opened up to me that the idea of another baby is pretty neat.   

After Carson's difficult pregnancy and birth, he has been timid about taking the plunge again.  For me, I had mommy amnesia almost immediately and was ready for #2 before we had the go ahead to be intimate again.  What morning sickness!?  I was hospitalized because of that twice, really!? wasn't so bad was it?  Josh used to just give me the "are you crazy" look.  For moms, once you hold that sweet little life in your arms, it makes every little struggle worth it.   I'm sure it's much different for the husbands. Josh was the one watching me throw up all over myself constantly at home and in public.  I'll never forget Josh trying to hold me upright as I held a sack to my face in front of Home Depot.  The urge would happen so fast! I kept little sacks in my purse just for those occasions. Then there was the passing out cold in our driveway during a yard sale.  Yup, that was embarrassing, but I was caught and brought to the ground "gently" (I had bruises), no harm done though.  I woke up to my hubby's panicked face.  So sad. Then the PUPPPS.  That was probably the worst.  The last two months I spent my nights crying in the bathroom because I itched so bad.  At 2am Josh would sweetly prepare me an oatmeal bath before crawling back in bed.  Can't forget the insomnia either.  Don't know what caused that, but I couldn't sleep for the majority of my pregnancy.  I would get so bored in the middle of the night from laying there wide awake that I would start waking Josh up to talk. I would hit him and then wait a second and ask if he was awake.  So terrible! (I don't think he knew I did that..hehehe) Instead of responding to my attempt at a conversation, he would roll over and sweetly play with my hair and massage my back until I finally drifted off.  I'm giggling as I type this.  It's funny now.  No wonder he was reluctant to have another!  All these little experiences really showed me how deeply I am loved by my husband. Then the birth...that's not really funny.  We have our blessing and it was an insane learning experience.  It's called learning the hard way, but it does make me excited for the next one because I know sooooo much more now. Although from Josh's perspective, he had to watch his wife suffer.  I can see why he wasn't ready to go through that again.  Time heals all though and now that Carson's favorite thing to do is play firetrucks with Daddy, his amnesia is kicking in as well.


This is something that has been on our hearts a lot lately.  God has really been changing us and giving us a spirit of contentment. As we lease our own little home and move into the adult family home, we will be simplifying quite a bit.  For awhile we will only have one bedroom. As I have been packing, I have found lots of little treasures I'd forgotten about in our basement and although they held sentimental value at one time, the need to de-clutter is more important than keeping wall hangings that were in my bedroom when I was three years old just for the heck of it.  It feels good to be simplyfing.

I also have been simplifying my wardrobe.  Cute plain t-shirts are more important to me than the latest style.  I got rid of half my wardrobe this morning.  I'm tired of all of my shirts requiring undershirts.  It is such a pain.  I now have to not only get Carson and I up every morning, but two elderly ladies as well.   Fashion has taken a back seat and it feels good.  Not that I've turned into a frump, but I've taken on the mom style with open arms.  Wish I would have done it sooner!  Having less in my closet is actually a relief. 

As we start planning out our move to the new house, we have discussed what rooms need updating, we are both realizing that nothing really needs to be done.  It's all a want.  Yes, it would be nice not to see pink floors, walls, counter tops, and a tub when you walk into the main bathroom, but it's functional and clean so it will stay awhile.   We can live with the 70s avocado green kitchen with the puke color floor as well. This home is dated, but it has been taken care of very well. Having a stylish home isn't important to us anymore. If it's functional, it stays. Having a child has completely put things into perspective for us.  In time we will make the house our own, but not until after we pay off debt, contribute and save.  We are looking forward to a simple life.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Meal Planning feels so good to have food in the house!  Went grocery shopping today and filled the fridge.  It was a little stressful because of the insane wind going on today.  My mother-in-law came with and she bought Carson an adorable lady bug balloon which I thought I had properly secured in the car but shortly after I "secured" it in the car, it got attacked by the wind and flew off so fast there was no hope of catching it.  I actually watched it go over buildings and it had a small weight attached to it.  I'm really hoping it didn't hit anything or head to the freeway and obstruct traffic.

In the last couple weeks I have changed my routine quite a bit.  I now sit down every Sunday and create a menu plan for the week and write up a grocery list of everything we need including snacks.  It takes about an hour to plan it out.  Then Monday morning I head to the grocery store for all my supplies.  It has almost completely cut fast-food out of our lives.  I also started cooking more crock-pot meals.  This week will actually consist of all crock-pot meals. 

One of my wonderful sisters inspired me to start doing this.  I went and picked up a slow-cooker recipe book and immediately fell in love with over half the recipes!  It contains 400.  I used to only have a few crock-pot meals in my repertoire so now variety won't be an issue at all.  We'll still get to eat tasty, diverse foods.   It solves the dilemma of running out of energy close to dinner time.  I've already had a long day by then and what's nice is that dinner will already be done and waiting for me.  Sweetness!  Plus the recipes make so much food that we can eat the leftovers all weekend or freeze the extras. 

It will also be nice for when we are officially moved into the Adult Family Home because then I can just get most of the cooking out of the way first thing in the morning.  Pretty soon I will no longer be cooking dinner for just my little family, I have to add four more people into the mix.  Which I'm looking forward to!  I love cooking for others.  Not sure if our elderly residents will enjoy my cooking but hey, we'll give it a shot.  There is no way I want to cook two separate dinners.  That job is already exhausting as it is.   I'm pretty sure most of my meals are denture friendly as well.   I've learned that dentures are something you take into consideration when making dinner for the elderly.  I was heating up tomato soup for their dinner once and I thought plain tomato soup is so boring so I'll spice it up a bit and saute some mushrooms and onions and garlic and add it to the soup.  They scarfed the soup, but as I was picking up the plates I noticed that all the mushrooms had been meticulously spit out on their plates into neat little piles.  Yummy!  I now put more thought into what they can and can't eat. 

Tonight we are having Tangy Chicken and New Potatoes with homemade bread.  Can't wait!!!!  T-minus 59 mins...

Sunday, May 2, 2010

A Restful Night

Carson slept really well last night!  He only woke up twice and they were for a very short time.  He barely nursed.  There was no tossing and turning and screaming in his sleep.  It was so nice.  I decided to just be grateful for the sleep we so desperately needed.  Not sure if it will happen again and because I do not want to be disappointed, I'm not expecting last night to be the end of our sleepless nights.  I hope it happens again, but I'm not going to get emotional if tonight is another one of our usual nights. 

Despite getting rest last night, I was pretty emotional today.  We will be officially from our home June 1st-ish.  It really hit me today how soon that is.  I love my home.  I know eventually our new home will be just as great but it will take a few years.  We put so much work into our present home to make it the refuge that it is and the idea of starting all over again is hard to swallow.  Although, once we do eventually fix it up to be "us,"  it will be a much nicer space so we have that to look forward to. 

I just hate letting go of things that I've loved.  This has been our first home and will always have a special place in my heart.  I'm not sure yet if moving two blocks away is a positive or negative aspect.  We'll get to drive by it often, but then if it is not kept up to our standards, then we'll have to see that often as well. 

We are probably going to rent it out for awhile so I guess I don't have to say my final good-byes just yet.