Winter Wonderland

I am loving this snow!  Maybe it has to do with the fact that we are now living in a warm house in which the heat doesn't fluctuate.  Watching the snow fall outside our windows is truly beautiful.  Plus I have really enjoyed playing in the snow with Carson attempting to build snowmen.  He doesn't understand the concept so he ends up just knocking them down.  Rather disappointing after spending 45 mins attempting to shape and sculpt one.  Oh and he thinks the stick arms are his toys so our snowmen have arms for about 3 seconds.
Since turning two, it's like Carson has taken a magic independent pill that suddenly gave him the ability to play on his own for a majority of the day.  Where'd my little guy go?  Okay, well he's still little and I am enjoying this new age.  He is such a character.  Oh and he's gotten completely Daddy obsessed which I know makes the hubs happy since he has watched Carson snuggle me for the last 2 years.  Whenever Josh would try to comfort Carson he would just get pushed away, poor Dad!  It broke his heart.  The other night Carson fell asleep in Daddy's arms which was the first time since Carson had become aware of who was holding him...so about since Carson was a few weeks old.  Let's just say he's enjoying the new spotlight.  Plus it gives me a little bit of a break!  

What am I thankful for?

Obviously thankfulness has been on the forefront on my mind today.  I am thankful for SO much it would be impossible to write it all down here.  Here's my short list.  I am thankful for kisses from my now 2 year old, a 2 year old I can call my very own who makes me laugh everyday, a husband who works so very hard and treats me like a queen, for family, and for friends that have stuck by us and supported us through this very busy crazy time in our life.

I have to admit despite this wonderful day, I woke up this morning thinking about the belly bump I don't have right now.  It hit me that I would be half way through with my pregnancy.  Sometimes I wish April would get here so I don't have to think about where I would be in the pregnancy any longer...but then I'd miss out on all this wonderful snow to play in with Carson!  Wouldn't want to do that.  Really what brings me back is the fact that I was about 4 weeks pregnant with our first baby at Thanksgiving 3 years ago.  This is a time that reminds me of my babies in Heaven.  Despite what it may sound like, it is actually a heart warming feeling and I cherish it.  It's like for a moment they are still tangible.

We had a pretty crazy day.  We gave our employee the day off so not only did we work a very long day, dawn till dusk, we hosted Thanksgiving Dinner.  I'm thankful for the energy I had to pull this day off.  It was wonderful and lovely and even though I haven't eaten since this afternoon, my stomach is still killing me from the amount of food I stuffed in it!   Ahhh it was amazing. 

Can't wait for leftover turkey sandwiches tomorrow!!!!

An Occupied Mind

My mind has been totally blank.  It's because I am in complete disbelief that Carson is turning two in a few days.  Just thinking about his age has allowed no other thoughts in.  Really, two?  Didn't you turn one, like yesterday!  Where did the year go!?  Please don't tell me the next 16 years are going to fly by this fast too. 

I had to juggle being a working mom this last year and I feel like I missed so much because of it.  Yes, we're still home together, but I'm also working.  When I was a stay-at-home mom my day was all about him...about his routine, meeting his needs, making nutritious snacks, playing.  He had to share the spotlight this year with 5 very large toddlers. 

Despite how much I feel I missed I'm still very grateful that I get to spend my days with Carson.  I don't think I could ever have a better block stacking buddy.  Not to mention the fact that I could never get tired of singing with him.  His little voice is beyond cute.  I could spend 24 hours with him a day and still not feel like it was enough.  I'm just a greedy mom! 


I'll probably be in a daze the next few days as I anticipate the big 2.  That's alright, I know I'll snap out of it eventually. 

Working Towards a Goal

What a difference a goal can make in one's life. Really, what a difference a loving and supportive husband can make in one's life.

We have been working A LOT lately. The other day as we were finishing up our morning work, Josh mentioned that if we kept this up, we could build our dream home in the country in just a couple years instead of 5 or more. For a second, that sounded like a great idea. But then I looked at Carson. Is that really what we want? This simple passing comment started the mental pondering of what do we want out of life? What are our priorities? What is important to us?

Since attempting to own an adult family home, we have lost perspective. Business moved to the forefront of our minds and we tried to throw the rest of our lives in there somewhere. Now, we are moving business to the back and family to the front. We are deciding to set up our lives to have a family. Losing our last baby made us realize our lives are not set up for another child right now. Setting our lives up for more children means less financial gain. It means paying off debt more slowly. Although, it also means a healthier and happier lifestyle for everyone including Carson and our next little baby. It means finally living the slower life we have been so desperately wanting. Attaining this goal isn't going to be easy. We have to first find another reliable employee which has proved to be difficult. Each struggle is part of the process though and it's called working towards a goal.

Just this one short conversation about our goals in life has given me hope for the future. Our life has a very new perspective. Why, I wonder, has it taken me so long to do such a simple thing.

Your Baby Can Read?

Have you seen commercials lately for a program called Your Baby Can Read? They seemed to have upped their advertising budget because I've been seeing this commercial a lot more lately.   Can you believe that people pay hundreds of dollars for a program which promises to teach your young infant how to read?  I admit the commercials seem rather amazing, but then when I stop and think about it, it freaks me out.  The first thought that comes to my head is...let your baby be a baby.  The other thought is, let their brains develop properly, how they were intended to.

There is something really neat about your child being able to independently put words together.  You watch their confidence grow with each new success.  Carson will often come to us with the new words he has finally discovered how to articulate.  Usually he gets most excited about the words he comes up with on his own. Words we hadn't repeated to him over and over. 

I stumbled upon this article today: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/39953918/

This article gives the opinion that all the program really does is teach memorization.   Even if that isn't the case and these babies are really able to learn to read, I still say...let your baby be a baby. Enjoy reading to your baby and enjoy that baby garble as long as you can because it only lasts for a very, very, very short time.

The Simple Things

Today I got to hold Carson while he was sleeping.  Our life has been so busy lately I have often missed the times when it was just the two of us in our little home.  I'm finally coming to the realization that I do not have to do everything.  Some things can wait.  I did that today.  He woke up from his nap, but was still very sleepy.  So I plopped my bottom on the couch with him in my arms.   He napped this way for the first 6 months of his life.  With his bad acid reflux, I usually had to hold him just to keep him propped up enough to keep the acid down.  It became a much loved routine.  For almost 2 hours we got to cuddle as his sleeping little body was scrunched up with his head on my chest.  I'm already mourning the time when he becomes too big to do such a thing.  I'm taking in every moment I can get! 

Life...Such a Complex Experience

God might have thrown us another curve ball.  Once again, we feel His hand guiding us and we are having to give up all control. That's okay since He thankfully knows best.  More on that later.  Or more on that when we actually know what is going on. 

Josh and I just finished painting our new office that he constructed last week.  I love being married to a handy man!  I decided to just go for it and paint our bedroom as well.  I'm glad I did.  It's amazing what change can do for the soul.  I've been wanting to do something massively different with my hair, get a tattoo, or you know something crazy, but for now this has satisfied my desire for change and has for now prevented anything I might regret.  I finally get to unpack and then hang some of my beloved decorations from our old house.  This place is finally starting to feel like home. 

Carson's vocabulary is budding.  He picks up a few new words each day and it is shocking us!  My favorite words are still, "where'd it do?"  Or "Where'd Daddy do?  Melts my heart.  You probably have to hear him say those words to understand just how adorably cute they are.  One of his newest words is quickly making the top 10 list and it's turtdle (turtle).  Somehow he manages to add that d in there along with the t.  He LOVES books which makes me very happy.  Is it wrong to think your child is the smartest kid on the face of the planet?  Whenever I try to trick Carson out of something (like giving him watered down juice instead of pop), I hear Josh's voice next to me, "he's not stupid you know."  Yes, I've discovered that.  Today he looked at me and said "that's not pop" in his baby voice.  He also now says please but instead of using the word in the form of good manners, he decides to use it to try and get what he wants.  This is usually how it goes:  Carson:  "Nummy?  Mommy, Nummy?  Me:  "No, Carson you've had too much sugar today."  Carson:  "Nummy, mommy, pease, (sad big brown eyes) pease mommy?"  For pete's sake!  I almost cave each time.  Key word though is almost! 

I'm loving this stage.  Other than the fact that he is growing up way too fast and can now create a screeching sound that nearly blows the eardrums, this age is perfect.