Wednesday, September 1, 2010


I am now 5 days postpartum from a loss that still hurts but the good news is I'm finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.   The last few days I've just wanted to rip my heart out of my chest to stop the pain.  As difficult as it has been, it has also been very healing.  Today was the day we were going to share the good news of being pregnant again.  So last night I was pretty emotional.  I am unbelievably thankful for a husband that has let me cry and completely talk through how I am feeling. 

Some good news...Carson went potty on his big boy potty yesterday.  He has been trying for awhile.  He asks to sit on his potty quite frequently so I indulged him but this time as I was cleaning, I heard his potty singing...meaning he was successful.  I ran over and he was so proud of himself.  It was adorable.  I'm surprised by how easy this potty training has been going.  Mostly because Carson has completely initiated it which is something I didn't expect, especially so young.  I'm proud of him though.  I know it's going to be awhile until he is officially potty trained, but each little step is exciting for us.   It's just another part of the independence he has been asserting lately. 

I have added exercise into my life.  It's felt really great.  I exercise with a friend 4 times a week for 40 mins.  It has lifted my mood some and I hope it is bringing me one step closer to being a healthy fertile myrtle!  It's been hard having motivation because I have just wanted to stress eat.  The last two days I finally let myself do that and decided the veggies can wait a day or two and I'm glad I did.  Eating some captain crunch did wonders for my spirit.  I know it's not good to treat emotional pain with food, but sometimes it's hard not to.  Now I'm back on the path of trying to heal my body through diet. 

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